I think i may be a gay?

Hi my name is Tom Robinson i live in stoke on trent, recently i have been having these weird feelings. I work full time and go college one day a week, there is one guy at college called mick who i really cant stop thinking about everything time i see him i always for some reason seem to get very hard downstairs. I really cant help thinking about him i always think about him at night when lieing alone and just wish he was with me. How do i tell him? He seems very phobic i think and once said that 'if there was a gay right here now i would ******* punch them'. Also i have been struggling at work as i am very poor at my job and it also doesn't help with these gay thoughts. I dont know what to do because everyone at college seems to be better at my job than me. Please help anyone i think im on the verge of suicide?!?!?!?!