What do you think of the song i wrote?

It sounds wonderful. Just try to not repeat things so much. Maybe change a few words around or something. Don't use the word "say" as much. It'll start to get repetitive. And we don't need another repeat of "Say what you need to say, say what you need to say, say what you need to say, say what you need to say (repeat eleventy kajillion times until satisfied)" lol. After you do that though, it'll be great.